Several months ago I decided to sign myself onto a dating website. It has taken me years of rebelling against this forum of connecting with people. But after all how do people meet these days?

It seems that Online Dating is the way to go. The art of meeting and verbally introducing yourself to the opposite or same sex is a fast declining way of getting into the dating game. Typing in a flirty fashion is apparently the only way to go.

I was stunned to discover that in the UK alone there are 1400 different dating websites.

  • Match – proclaims to be the largest and most successful dating website in the UK
  • My Single Friend – this is for friends to push the singletons into dating
  • Jdate – jewish people looking for a match
  • Muddy Matches – for people dwelling in rural areas looking for farmers, horsy and county types
  • Zoosk – part of the facebook revolution for introducing
  • Lovestruck – living in London and is for lunchtime hookups
  • Christian Connection – title says it all
  • Dating Vegetarians – well they are a special breed
  • Dating for Parents – sick of having to explain about kids and divorce this one is for you

The list is endless, there is definitely something for everyone, so it is a wonder why there are so many singletons out there.

I spent some time on putting the profile together as recommended. According to the Guardian dating tips; 80% of people look for someone who is both similar and opposing in interests, so the more specific you are you the better the hit rate of finding someone suitable. It appears that only 60% of people are truthful on their profiles and just like CV’s for job interviews there is a high percentage of little white lies that will appear.

After an initial flurry of e-mail exchanges

  • “Introduction – still looking – sadly!” – Clive, 51, Oxford
  • “Traditional values gent seeks interesting enquiries – John, 73, Cumnor
  • “Hello, it is me you’re looking for!” Spooknp, 24, London
  • “LOL” – Peter, 41, Cowley

I think I must have messed up my profile somewhat. It looks like my age ranges from 18 (heyho) to 75 (heyno) and from anywhere in the country despite the website being called Chipping Norton Singles.

While I was trekking in the Himalayas we managed to get a data signal up on Kopra Ridge. As I downloaded my emails I was bombarded with introductions from all over the country.

It was of much amusement to my fellow trekkers that I had to stoop to the depravity of internet dating, lots of shaking of heads and “poor you” looks of sympathy.

Through much hilarity, we conducted a group analysis of a few profiles, from cliche statements, bad photo’s and the sexually depraved to draw up a shortlist.

Hold onto your hat; Dan, 44 from Witney you are the lucky one. Armed with everyone’s advice on how to approach Dan via flirty written method we constructed a short email. This is the best that they could come up with.

Hi Dan,
Hope you are okay? Confirm all photos are the right way up and look like fun. Am travelling in Nepal with a group of Aussies and Kiwi’s having lots of fun, doing a community project and trek.
Will be back in a few weeks time so if you are up for it we can met up for coffee when I get back.

Unsurprisingly I never heard back from Dan, 44 from Witney much to the disappointment of the team.

I have friends that are experts at using dating websites and seem to have a good level of success. I guess that they have a better level of commitment on weeding out the time wasters and perhaps understand what they are looking for.

Despite having a profile that is out there and getting spammed everyday with introductions, my interest in this method of meeting people is waning. I am just not suave at writing flirty messages or have the time to trawl the web. I am reverting to old fashioned communication and perhaps a bit of whatsapp.

Good luck to all the singletons in finding love in 2016 whichever method you choose.